Friday:

Met up with du, su and yanjun for Charlie St. Cloud. Du found it draggy and boring, su and yanjun thought it was not too bad but could have been better. I just used it as an excuse to cry my heart out. I did not cry luh okay, I just sobbed at the sad and sadder parts.

So the whole moral of the movie was about how certain lucky people are given a second chance at life again. Life. So tough sometimes. And I used to keep having suicidal thoughts whenever shit happens. Be it about school, oh yea trust me there are countless of times where I felt like committing suicide so I wouldn't have to study, wouldn't have to worry about my parents' expectations of me or about what a stupid person I am because I know nuts about my school work. Or just life in general. I've even came up with a list of "painless deaths".

Jumping down from a building is a huge no no. I will be disfigured by the time my head lands straight down the concrete floor. Not such a pretty sight to look at huh. I don't know how some people have the guts to do that. I really wonder. And it's frigging painful can.

Drowning? Uhhh no, because I can swim so it's out.

Inhaling gas from stove, too dangerous, what if I burn down my house then where will my family live?

Inhaling excess carbon monoxide from car exhaust, where to get car from?

My best bet? OD on whatever pills you can get your hands on. So painless, maybe just foaming at the mouth, that's all. Still can look pretty.

Obviously I didn't try any of that because after that I think it's damn stupid to die over such things or a person. And I must clarify that I am not a psycho, I do not always have suicidal thoughts. Only when shit happens.

So yes I am definitely living life to it's fullest despite the bullshit. I'm gonna start studying from next week onwards, hopefully graduate with a bachelors with second upper class (I really wish), FYP (find your partner), get married, have 3 wonderful kids and be a hot momma. Yay so exciting wow.